When I started this blog I stuck to subjects that were important to those individuals, or couples, who found themselves now devoid of children at home and were looking to redefine their lives. As time has gone on, the subjects have broadened and my passions have become a focal point of what I write about. Today I thought I would return to the beginning, in a way, and talk about something too few people want to discuss. The subject of choosing to live alone.
I have been single a LONG time. Many people don’t understand the things I like about being on my own. Not everyone needs a live-in-relationship to be happy. It will all depend on your personality, and how much you enjoy your own company and how comfortable you are enjoying going out by yourself some of the time. Here are some of my tongue-in-cheek responses to why I want to live alone.
- I can finish what I am doing without interruption
- I can eat when ever I want and what ever I want. Cereal for dinner no problem
- I get the bed to myself and no snoring will ever wake me up
- There is no one to train to do things my way. :-)
- I don’t have to compromise on what time to go to bed and can sleep as late as I want
- I can just pick up and have a night out with friends without asking if it is okay or feeling I need to check with my partner.
- There are no money struggles or differences in how money is spent.
- I can wear scrubby work clothes all day without worrying about cleaning up for my man.
- There are no remote control wars in my house
- I had the freedom to toss out the TV
- If I want to watch a movie there is no one here to complain about my choice.
- I can decorate any way I want
- Better yet I could be a slob if I wanted
- I can have silence when I want or need it
- I can read in bed with the lights on and there is no one asking me when I will turn off the light.
- And finally there are no blanket wars, you know what I mean. You wake up freezing in the middle of winter and all the covers are on his side of the bed.
Okay so those are some of the positives about living alone, there are some disadvantages I’ll grant you, but for me the advantages are far more important to me than what I am missing out on. I can date, I can have companionship if I want it, etc. My great-aunt didn’t marry until she turned 40, and I don’t believe she had a very happy marriage. When she turned 65 her husband died of cancer. It seemed to me that she had a fuller life after she became widowed than she ever did while she was married. She took cruises, vacationed in Europe, visited Alaska, tried restaurants and meals her husband would never have enjoyed, if he joined her. I’ll never forget her description of what squid tasted like when she returned from her European vacation. She described it as chewing on rubber bands. No he didn’t leave her a big sum of money, she had saved her own money from working. He squandered money and had nothing in his name when he died.
When you reach my stage of life what you are usually seeking in a mate is a lasting friendship. Who says we have to have our best friend live with us to the point that we share even our sleeping quarters?
I have noticed more couples who find they are happier living on their own. Even married couples are choosing to live in separate homes while continuing a relationship at this point. A good friend has been in a relationship for almost 15 years, he has his home and she has hers. They are committed to each other but have no desire to combine households. . Does it mean we are selfish? I don’t believe so, I think we just know ourselves well enough to know what makes us happy and a larger amount of alone time is what we need to be happy.
If you are currently single and hoping to find a solid relationship in the future, my advice is to enjoy your alone time, embrace it and love every minute of it, the time will come when you will most-likely have the relationship you want and will not be able to enjoy those little things you take for granted now.
How much alone time would you like to have?