Buy what???

Its been a while since I gave you one of my tongue-in-cheek posts highlighting the truly ridiculous that is marketed to us to try and part us from our money. Well, wait no more I have another batch of unnecessary things I have found.

It seems every child has a dream of what they want to be when they grow up. For some its a princess, a fireman or a favorite super hero. I didn’t realize until now that those dreams don’t fade as we grow up. Now you can stay warm on those cold winter nights and imagine you are in fact a super. Hero. Make your man’s secret dream come true this year, $18.95 is quite cheap to fulfill a dream.

Which super hero will fulfill your loved ones dreams?

Which super hero will fulfill your loved ones dreams?

We all want to avoid chemicals while looking our best, like paint on a wall, color on our hair can change our entire look. Now with this easy to use applicator you can add vibrant chalk color to your hair. Five beautiful colors for only $8.95.

Blue has always been my favorite color,I think I'll try that one first.

Blue has always been my favorite color,I think I’ll try that one first.

Do you have separation anxiety when you can’t have your cell phone in your hand at all time? It’s dangerous to have your phone in your hand while driving, but now with this secure holder for your cell phone you can at least still see it as you keep your eyes on the road. $8.95 is nothing compared to the peace of mind i will have knowing my phone is just as secure as my grand children while driving

I'd rather keep an eye on my phone than worry about what my phone could be obstructing in my view.

I’d rather keep an eye on my phone than worry about what my phone could be obstructing in my view.

Applying nail polish is such a messy job, but with this plastic holder your polish won’t spill, the fingers that are being painted will have a secure base to keep shaky fingers still. Oh, wait what about the hand that is applying the polish? I think they forgot to think that through. If I can just figure out how to steady the hand holding the applicator I can be proud of my neat nails for $6.95.

Cheaper than paying for a manicure.

Cheaper than paying for a manicure.

I am never sure where my feet are. That problem has been solved for me now when I wear slippers that make animal noises I’ll always be able to find those pesky feet. I wonder, do my feet resemble a rabbit, monkey or possibly a pig? If I no longer have to suffer the pain of stubbed toes or bruises from dropping things on my feet my $4.95 will be money well spent.

Since I still use my toes to grip everything I think I'll have to go with the monkey.

Since I still use my toes to grip everything I think I’ll have to go with the monkey.

I really need some girly decorative touches on my desk. I found these ceramic high heeled shoe tape dispensers. I need this as the cheap dispenser sold with my tape is an embarrassment. For $6.95 I will have the satisfaction of knowing coworkers won’t be gossiping about my lack of professionalism I have had by using that cheap dispenser all these years.

Which color would appear more professional? I do want to make the best impression possible.

Which color would appear more professional? I do want to make the best impression possible.

Poor Zakk, I feel so bad for that puppy. Our winters get so cold and my son has yet to buy him proper boots, coat and scarf for when Zakk needs to burrow through our huge snow drifts to “do his business”. I better buy this electric heating blanket for him. Zakk’s comfort is worth every penny of the $21.95 I will spend on this.

Want me to add an extra to my order for you too?

Want me to add an extra to my order for you too?

Who ever thought a mop was the perfect tool to clean a floor? Seriously, I can never be sure I rinsed all the dirt out before continuing on with another section of the floor. Finally my prayers have been answered. With just a press of the lever by my foot, no bending over necessary, this plastic bucket will spin the mop to separate the dirt from the mop head. Isn’t $16.95 worth it to know your floor will actually be clean?

 

Can you believe it took this long to figure out how to clean a mop head?

Can you believe it took this long to figure out how to clean a mop head?

A bare floor isn’t the worst chore I have. The toilet is my least favorite household chore. Have you ever considered what has passed through this porcelain bowl? Yuck. I’d rather shoot the toilet than clean it. Well now I can at least pretend I’m doing just that when using this toilet bowl brush with a gun shaped handle. It looks like a comfortable fit too. Well worth the $8.95 price for the satisfaction i will get while cleaning the bowl.

 

I sure hope this will alleviate my anger issues.

I sure hope this will alleviate my anger issues.

You say your coffee isn’t doing the job any more to wake you in the morning? Maybe that’s because you aren’t drinking it out of the right cup. Instead of turning on the radio or TV choose from a cup that will moo at you or better yet a cup that farts. Just think you can now start your morning right for $7.95

 

Who ever vets tired of fart noises?

Who ever gets tired of fart noises?

Now I know you want one of everything here. Well get out your checkbook, or better yet, your nearly maxed credit card. The total before tax and shipping will cost you $111.50.

 

now I have a question, if you had an extra $111.50 how would you spend it to enhance your life?

43 Comments

  1. Comedy gold! LOL! When I see those pictures though, all I think about is that it is somebody’s job to come up with those ideas, and then somebody else’s job to take those photos and someone else has to write the text and someone else has to put the brochure together, someone else delivers it… so much effort for such useless junk!

    • P, I see all that and also the wasted resources that go into the production of these things. After that I can’t get it out of my head how much better off people would be if they didn’t waste their hard earned money on this junk. Could they cut back on the hours they work? Would they spend more time with family? Would their children do better having their parents home more? Our consumerist lifestyles affect more than just the families income. P, I’m glad you enjoy my sarcasm.

  2. Giggling here. And yes, I just soooo need everytihg on that list, well, aside from the farting coffee cup. I have 3 kids and a husband who can save me the money buying the cup. ;)
    How the hell do people think up these “amazing” things, that’s what I’d like to know. Pity they can’t put their brains to thinking up truly “useless” things like sustainably fueled public transport, fossil fuel replacements and a way to convert landfill back into its original materials. ;)

  3. The last post you did on this, I ended up seeing some of the items in Target afterwards, and thought of you! There really is some plastic rubbish there is there? And so much of it, I’m sure, is lumped onto someone as a novelty gift, which is even worse!

    On the phone holder, one of the insurance/roadside assistance companies are handing them out ‘free’ here, in exchange for your details. I got one (mainly as work encouraged it), but I said to the lady in the ‘store’ ‘you’ll just spam me’ – she was indigent that I suggested that. I couldn’t believe she thought her company would hand out something free (and they are a national company!) with no follow up/further money chasing!

    Now, if I had $115 to spare, I’d probably have a fancy dinner out… Or, realistically, add it to my 12-in-2 adventures savings account, to do something ‘fun’ when the situation arises (namely, warmer weather!!)

  4. Forgot to say about a news story I heard a few years back. Emergency services were called to a house to find a couple stuck under a free standing wardrobe. The lady was tied to the bed, the guy (her rescuer) was wearing a superman costume. He had jumped off the wardrobe, tipping it over in the process landing on top of them both. Lol, the mind boggles sometimes!!

    • Live and Learn, I can picture several of these as gag gifts but the funny thing is that only one was advertised as such. Some such as the phone holder and electric heating blanket I can see being bought as an item seen as a much needed purchase.

      You brought up a good point though, I wonder how much money spent each year is on gag gifts? Isn’t there a better way to give a humorous gift without spending money on something that may probably never be used?

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